Flashback Friday #2

Image from Noël's Beautiful Life's
Flashback Friday 

I've been blogging for 8yrs now (on & off) & thought it was time to 'Flashback' to the old days.

I still have my old original blog, but have it set to private for a few reasons, so linking from here won't work.

Anyway, I have decided that every Friday, I will repost one of my favourite posts from yesteryear.

This week's post comes from August 28th, 2006

...I just wish there was a light at the end of the tunnel...

I am sick of seeing women pregnant, and then have a baby, while I am still waiting.

Stress. That is my main problem now. It does not matter if it's mental, financial, work related, family related... It is everywhere.

I am exhausted. I sleep, but don’t sleep. Does that make sense? I mean, I use to get by on 5-6 hrs of sleep per night. Now, I wake even more tired, than when I went to bed.

I worry about money. Why don't we have enough? Will we have enough to do IVF again? Will we have enough to eat? That could be why I'm not sleeping properly. My mind is running at a million miles an hour, ALL the time. I'm not eating right. Sometimes a couple of pieces of toast for tea, sometimes nothing. I make sure DH is eating OK, but I'm not hungry myself.

Struggling to pay the mortgage. Struggling to pay bills. Struggling to afford to survive. If it had not have been for my parents & my in-laws, DH & I wouldn't have eaten for the last few weeks. Look, I'm not writing this to get or anything. I just need to get it off my chest.

I know that there are people out there, who are struggling more than I am. I could sell my rental properties, re-finance our home loan, then live (struggle a little), but be comfortable. DH & I could afford another IVF cycle. Maybe the honeymoon we didn't really have. Maybe spoil ourselves for a while. I don't know...

Right now, it all seems too hard. I'm not giving up, but I just wish there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Soon.