Sibling Rivalry

I always wanted 3 kids, so there would be someone to take sides. I suppose that's because when I was growing up, there was only my little sister & I. She was a bully (even thought she was 4yrs younger) & I was always the one who got in trouble, because I should have known better.

Things happened in our teenage years & she & I didn't see eye to eye on any thing. She got swept up in a cult (what we [parents & I] thought it was) & she left home, ran off the rails.


We were left some money from our maternal grandmother. I saved it, bought a few things, then a car & my first house (unit). She blew it up against a brick wall, spending it on some dilapidated old caravan, that she lived in, in someone's backyard.

When I was planning my wedding, she, as my only sibling was an automatic choice as my Maid of Honour. I thought that it would have been a pleasure for her, but IMO, she didn't take the job on properly. I never had a Hen's night, no Bridal Shower, nothing. Aren't those the things a Maid of Honour is supposed to organise? Stupid for me to assume & expect it.

Fast forward to my long awaited pregnancy. We told her & her DF at the time & she wondered why (at 6ish weeks), we were getting excited, because it was still early & the was still a chance of miscarriage.

She got all clucky when the boys' were in NICU, telling me how she was having fertility testing, because since I needed IVF, she probably would to (Ah, not necessarily). She went on to say her GP had said a scan showed PCOS & that Clomid would assist her. I told her what I knew about the 'miracle' Clomid & suggested she see a gyno before jumping the gun, considering that she wasn't actually TTC at the time.

Time past & she had said to our parents that I would not let her see the boys' (she wanted to come over when they were sleeping, not at the times I suggested [being so busy with her social life] & I tell you, when you have 2 little ones, routine is everything). Things were said, but patched up, because again, as my only sibling, she was my choice to be the boys' Godmother.

During the Summer of 2009/2010, she called saying she had been locked out of her place & wondered if she could wait at our place until her DF came home (she had bought a place down the road from my unit & was now living there with her DF, which was about 10-15mins from our place).

For the hour or so she was there, she was spruiking about how she & her DF had bought a block of land at the other end of town & how they would start building just before her wedding. Then came the wedding info. Funnily enough she had a sample of the bridesmaids dresses in her bag, a copy of the invitations, a brochure from the reception centre... It seemed like the visit was planned & it was only for her to boast about the wedding. Anyway, I was waiting, well expecting to be asked to be at least a bridesmaid. Silly of me, I wasn't asked.

Later, Mum had told me that with the boys' being so young (they would have been 1yr & 1wk old at the time of the wedding) & a distraction, I wouldn't have had enough time to devote to her (my sister), so that's why I was not asked to be a part of the bridal party. Well, considering that my MIL & FIL were also invited to the wedding, along with my parents & DH, well... I was really hurt.

So time came for the RSVP & a week before, I received an SMS. "Are you coming or not?" I was actually surprised when I received the invitation, because since my boys' were considered a distraction, I didn't expect them to be on the invitation & with MIL & FIL going, as well as my parents, I had no one to leave the boys with. But their names were on the invitation.

SMS's were exchanged on mass. Things got extremely heated & truths came out. She told me how I was making it about me, when it was her day. Fair enough. But then she went on to say I didn't care, because I never went to any of her things (I can't remember why, but I don't remember going to her 21st. TBH, I don't even remember getting an invitation or being told about it). It came down to me saying 'if you don't want me in your wedding/life, then never contact me again". She had to have the final word & shoved the dagger, right into my heart. "I don't want any contact with a selfish b*tch like you. Oh, & just to let you know, our first child is due in Sept". That was the last conversation we had. April 2010.

She never came to the boys' 1st Birthday (neither did my parents for that matter). No Birthday Card for the boys' (it's not like it's their fault). Nothing.

I was never officially told about the birth of my nice, just a smart remark from my MIL about O.. M.. being a nice name. This time though, my father (who I never spoke to after the Birthday incident, but who tried to make up for it at Christmas), couldn't resist. Dad: "I've go a bombshell to drop". Me: "What?". D: Your going to be an aunty again in August". M: "What?" D: "Yes". M: "But the other one will only be 10mths old". D: "Yes. They call it Irish Twins".

Well F me. So much for the 'I can't have kids". By my calculations, she would have been 6wks post-partum & considering she was at least 12wks at her wedding... F.

She's always got to out do me. The wedding, the house & now her "Irish Twins". FFS, they are not twins.

I'm hurt. Drowning inside & Yes, it's partly my fault. Being the stubborn cow that I am, I'm not going to be the one who makes the first move, but I'm missing out. Missing out on a niece who is almost a year old & another one due in the next few days. My boys' are missing out on playing with their cousins (I never had cousins to play with as a kid. Dad being an only child & Mum not being close to her sister's), who are only 17mths & 26mths younger.

It's not good to wish ill on someone, but I hope she's (my sister) feeling the hurt to. But, I very much doubt it, being the self absorbed b*tch she is.

*Sigh*. I don't feel better, after pouring my hurt out. I though I would, but I don't. I just feel worse.

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